I've officially entered my thirties and it doesn't feel like what I thought thirty was supposed to feel like. When I entered my twenties, I envisioned that thirty would feel like a high powered job, a husband and a couple of kids, and the random "Sex in the City"- esque nights out with my friends. I was cool with that. Instead, my 30 looks like a decent job and netflix and chill most nights with my new husband. I'm also cool with that. Because my twenties taught me a lot of things, but one of the most important lessons I learned was that life has plans that may or may not correlate with my own plans. I can either sulk and complain about it (which I did), or I can adjust, adapt and continue moving forward (which I've most recently decided to start doing.) That seems to be working out better for me.
Some other things I've learned throughout the past decade are:
You can't please everyone any of the time.
I consider myself to be a recovering people-pleaser. Whether due to my own insecurities or just a genuine desire to make other people happy, I've constantly tried to live my life and make decisions that would be pleasing to other people, before myself. Only in the past two years or so did I finally understand that no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to satisfy everyone around me simultaneously. It's impossible. And even if I were able to by some miraculous force, would I be happy in the midst? Probably not. So for the past two years I've made a conscious effort to cultivate my relationships and friendships in a way that is true to my values and beliefs. I've learned that I don't have to always say yes to things and that no really is a complete sentence-- (more on that later.) The people who are truly meant to be around me in this season or lifetime will understand..and those who don't..well, I wish them well and keep it moving.
Taking time for yourself isn't selfish...it's necessary.
Self-care is a popular concept lately and it basically means taking time for yourself to re-energize and take care of yourself. Whether it's taking a day off from work or immersing yourself in a hobby you enjoy for a few hours, I believe self-care is super important to a person's physical, mental, spiritual and emotional well-being. I take at least one day a month off from work to just be alone and spend the day doing things I enjoy. I used to feel guilty about taking days off, but not anymore. I work hard...I go above and beyond. I earn those vacation hours..So I'm going to use them!
I am in a constant state of growing, learning and evolving.
In my early twenties I used to wonder when I would get to the point where I would be completely evolved into the woman I wanted to be...I didn't even know what that woman looked like but I was sure that I would know her when I became her. I now realize that I am constantly growing and learning and evolving and I don't want that to change. I am learning to be content in all situations but never stagnant. Always learning. Ever evolving. Constantly moving forward.
This site is part of my moving forward. I can't tell you how many times I've stopped and started and stopped and starting this blog for a myriad of reasons, mostly related to fear. I won't get into too much detail about that on this post but you can definitely expect a more detailed post about it soon :-) You can also expect this to be a community where we inspire people to do good things, travel to good places, read good books, eat good food and live a good life...full of purpose, on purpose.
Let's evolve together :-)
What are some lessons you've learned about yourself this year?